T minus 1

Tomorrow I officially get real and weigh in. I will also start officially keeping track of what I eat and, more importantly, the amount. I'm a little lot apprehensive about this. While I know from previous experience that Weight Watchers doesn't deny you any foods I'm already feeling the loss of my good friend Hershey and her cousin Ms. Smarshmallow--affectionately named by my son. Although the truth is those bitches aren't real friends at all! They make me feel good for a minute, or ten, and then the guilt settles in. So I start thinking what difference does it make if I only ate three squares of the chocolate bar or if I eat six? Another three wont hurt and two minutes later Ive downed all twelve. Then my husband walks in the room hoping for some chocolate and I shamefully admit I'm fat and have already devoured the entire bar. If only I could channel this lack of self control into something better. Like, I don't know, cleaning the house? Man my house would look AWESOME!

So tonight I shared a large Mc D's chocolate shake with my boys. I know this might not sound like a wonderful treat but man, those people at Mc D's have stepped up their game! Gone are the days of soft serve in a cup with a little chocolate syrup hand stirred in. No. Now they are for real shakes. Whipped cream and a cherry on top to boot! This occurrence wont necessarily come to an end it will just become less frequent.  I find comfort in that thought. Is it weird that my emotions are so tied up in food?

***Speaking of food...I haven't quite figured out how to post to the What I Ate page without removing previous content. So I'll just rate my meals. Id say breakfast was acceptable, lunch was great, dinner was great, snacks and dessert...we'll lets just say I had a lot of ice cream today. What can I say? I had to get it all in before I begin holding myself accountable to my choices.