Truthful Thursday

All day today I've thought it was Friday.

Its not.

Don't you hate that?

Turns out that not only is it not Friday its also weigh in day. Double whammy; its measurements day. *sigh*

My helpful husband woke me up before he left for work so he could help me take my measurements. That's right, he woke me up before leaving for work. Meaning he's up and dressed and I'm still snoozing away in our wonderful bed. Heck, half the time he's up and ready to go AND has set our boy up with breakfast and Disney while I slumber away. Yes, I live a charmed life. No I'm not looking forward to re-entering the 'real' world. Love you Husband!

Anywho, since he did my measurements the first time I'd like for him to keep doing them. I'm hoping that will create some consistency.
          June 30                 Aug 4
Arms     13.8                   13.5
Chest     40                     37.5
Waist     36.5                  34
Hips       43                    42.5
Thighs    41.5                 41.5

I ALWAYS lose in my boobs first. Anyone else?!?! Its so weird. And while I don't need them to be as ginormous as they are I'd love to lose in my hips and thighs! I guess thats coming. I noticed the last time I did WW that I lost top down also. Minus my arms. Im going to have to lipo the heck out of them some day! I'm hoping that walking quasi-nightly with Patrice will help the bottom half lose a little faster.

I missed my official weigh in today. Partly because I thought it was Friday--darn you Thursday--and partly because I thought WW was open all morning for weigh ins but they're not. They are open all morning tomorrow. The REAL Friday. Ugh! I took a pic this morning but if I lost lbs at all its ounces and my 'pretty fly for a white guy' scale isn't digital.

I have not been terribly pleased with my weight loss thus far. (Yes I just used 'thus') I've paid for two months of WW and I expected better results. But I haven't been putting in the work. The program can't force me to track or measure my food. The program can't force me to not eat the bread basket at the yummy bakery in Eastern Market. So I'm mad at myself for spending the money and not using the tools. This morning I started measuring and tracking. I need to get this down before I start class in a few weeks or its never going to become habit.

For me the hardest part is still working on my vegetarian journey AND figuring out weight loss. I need to enter all of my new recipes into the WW recipe builder to figure out their PointsPlus values. The sooner I get my frequented recipes in there the easier it will be to track. I guess now is as good a time as any.

Also, that bitch Hershey has sashayed her way into my life again. Things aren't tense they're just getting ready to change so I'm all sorts of nuts. Enter comfort food. I'm throwing her out. Right now. Well, as soon as I'm done updating this here blog. The funny thing is once I banished Ms Hershey the first time I didn't really miss her. I won't say I didn't eat chocolate if we were out and about but I didn't crave it like I thought I would. At least not after the first few ugly days of withdrawls passed. For the protection of the meek innocent, there are no pictures of those days.

Catching up

We have been B U S Y this past week and I missed my Truthful Thursday post. In all honesty I was super busy that day but I also had time to sit down and bare my soul weight but I wasn't very pleased with the results so I tossed it on the back burner and never got to it.

Here it is : I had a .6 lb weight loss. That's it. That's not even 1 full pound. And it pisses me off. I did much better with my food during the week and I started walking 3 miles a day with Patrice. Which I opted not to track in my Weight Watchers site because I don't want the temptation of converting the 'activity points' into food. As my friend, and fellow WW member, Tara pointed out .5 pounds a week turns into 26lbs a year.  And any loss is better than a gain. She has me there.

I'm hoping that my body is adjusting to the new food take and the new exercise. I'm hoping that this week I held on to a few more calories due to the walking freaking out my body. I'm hoping that I can continue to lose weight, even in half pound increments, until I get to a place where I feel good about me again. I'm hoping that the next time I weigh in I'll see a significant loss. Heres to hope!

Truthful Thursday

This morning I woke up and saw this

Which looked an awful lot like this

So I felt like this

But I went to weight in at Weight Watchers anyhow. After all isn't the point of this to work on being a less chubby veggie? Maybe those ladies would have some ideas. While I was there I got this

Its only 1 pound but I felt like this

Over the last week I used all of my daily points--which is what you're suppose to do-- and all except 5 of my weekly 'bonus' points. Those are built into the program so that you can eat cake, ice cream, 5 Tootsie Rolls, have a 4th of July bbq and still succeed. Its not a diet because you don't have to deny yourself. You just have to make smart choices about your indulgences. Although I won't be using all of my bonus points every week, heck I hope not to even use half of them on a regular basis, it feels good to know that if I do happen to use them I can still lose. Even if it is only 1 pound. Hey a loss is a loss, right!

Fresh start Friday

I've got to tell you, its only been really one day back on WW and already its easier than I remembered. Although I still have a little fear of eating. I'm afraid to use or go over my Points which is nonsense and a mind set I need to change. The hardest part for me is remembering that it isn't so much what Ive been eating its the quantity of it so I should just eat consciously. I'm also not totally sure what to snack on since an entire 12 square Hershey bar isn't really a good option. <-- that makes my heart sad. Veggie friendly suggestions??? Other than veggies.

The dudes and I made a trip out to my favorite grocery store today, Trader Joe's. We left with a few bags full of healthy deliciousness. And these

Delicious? Yes. Healthy? Not so much.

But I avoided this. My great weakness.

I stole this image from the internet

I will admit to eating some of those deliciously addictive almonds but I stopped at 4. Mostly because I haven't added them into my PointsPlus tracker and I'm guessing that 1/3 of a serving is plenty. Veggie pizza and some raw veggies for dinner tonight. Yummmm! Happy 4th of July weekend!

***breakfast-good, lunch-good, snack-ok, dinner-ok; I ended up with two pieces of pizza and no salad.

T minus 1

Tomorrow I officially get real and weigh in. I will also start officially keeping track of what I eat and, more importantly, the amount. I'm a little lot apprehensive about this. While I know from previous experience that Weight Watchers doesn't deny you any foods I'm already feeling the loss of my good friend Hershey and her cousin Ms. Smarshmallow--affectionately named by my son. Although the truth is those bitches aren't real friends at all! They make me feel good for a minute, or ten, and then the guilt settles in. So I start thinking what difference does it make if I only ate three squares of the chocolate bar or if I eat six? Another three wont hurt and two minutes later Ive downed all twelve. Then my husband walks in the room hoping for some chocolate and I shamefully admit I'm fat and have already devoured the entire bar. If only I could channel this lack of self control into something better. Like, I don't know, cleaning the house? Man my house would look AWESOME!

So tonight I shared a large Mc D's chocolate shake with my boys. I know this might not sound like a wonderful treat but man, those people at Mc D's have stepped up their game! Gone are the days of soft serve in a cup with a little chocolate syrup hand stirred in. No. Now they are for real shakes. Whipped cream and a cherry on top to boot! This occurrence wont necessarily come to an end it will just become less frequent.  I find comfort in that thought. Is it weird that my emotions are so tied up in food?

***Speaking of food...I haven't quite figured out how to post to the What I Ate page without removing previous content. So I'll just rate my meals. Id say breakfast was acceptable, lunch was great, dinner was great, snacks and dessert...we'll lets just say I had a lot of ice cream today. What can I say? I had to get it all in before I begin holding myself accountable to my choices.

The Fat Vegetarian Enters the Room

So here it goes, the Readers Digest version. Soon after the first of the year, 2011, I decided to give up mammals; no cows, no pigs. Giving up the meat was pretty easy. So at the end of February I decided to try going all out and become a vegetarian. I gave up all animals, milk and eggs. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. Even my husband was mostly on board. Turns out it was 'easy' because in reality I became a cheese-etarian and I was self soothing with chocolate. I was struggling with these new weird ingredients and with finding a way for my son and husband to eat them with me without to much complaining. Hello cheese covered everything. And the chocolate? Well it soothes my soul.

I have always struggled with my weight but, thanks to a Weight Watchers stint last year, I was at a weight that I was comfortable at. Was it my ideal weight? No. Was it a healthy weight for my size? BMI votes no. I still, in my mind at least, wanted to lose 20 more pounds but I was pretty happy with just holding steady where I was.

Once the onslaught of cheese and chocolate took hold the weight started coming back. And not one or two pounds at a time, but five pounds and then ten. So I admitted to a good friend that the ten pounds I had put on really ticked me off but not enough to put down the Hershey bar. What was I to do? I was mad at the ten pounds, I was mad at myself but I just couldn't get mad at the dang Hershey bar, I mean, its chocolate! My life long friend. I decided that my only option was to put down the chocolate and do something. I started finding some really great vegetarian and vegan blogs that helped set me on a more healthy vegetarian track. I decided I'm definitely not a huge tofu fan (read: hate it) but quinoa and tempeh are pretty dang good. But now here I sit with ten pounds more than my 'comfortable yet unhealthy' weight with another 20+ pounds to go.

In the interest of 'doing something'  I rejoined Weight Watchers today, although, Thursdays will be my official weigh in day. Last time I used the program I lost the weight with portion control and staying within my points. I didn't exercise, despite the fact that they encourage you to, I just don't like to. Sorry Laura! Maybe I'll try to this time. We'll see.

Anyhow, I plan to use this blog to hold myself accountable. I plan to share my journey and my struggle. I expect that no one but my mom and good friend(s?) will read this. And thats alright.

Oh, in the interest of accountability I'm planning on sharing what Ive had to eat each day. Check it out if you're up for it. I'll link back to the recipes I've found online.

Get fired up!