Tuesdays Thoughts

Recently someone asked me if I made my decision to go veggie because of the 'animal factor.' I believe that a lot of vegetarians choose this lifestyle because they have a great love for all animals. For me thats not it. I'm not an animal lover--its more that I tolerate them. I like them. I don't mind other peoples pets but we have none and I have no desire for any. That being said, I do believe we were put on this Earth, in part, to be good stewards of our resources and to take care of and look after all that grows and blooms. Having animals bred, born and slaughtered in filthy and inhumane conditions doesn't fit into the good stewards box.

Tonight, per a couple of requests, I made Tater Tot Casserole for dinner. This is not veggie friendly. Since my husband, and on rare occasions my son, still eats meat I've been sporadically cooking with the meat that was left in the house prior to my go veggie decision. I figure these animals have already had a miserable life and death, why make their sacrifice worse by throwing it all away.

Tonight was different. My sister is in town (yea!!!!) and our friend Patrice was maybe coming for dinner. We only had one container of ground death turkey left and that wasn't enough for this group. Robbie has put away an entire pan by himself and my sister is a big fan of this dish as well. It was the first time since February that I stepped foot into the "death meat department". As I asked the butcher for one pound of ground beef I was internally conflicted. I know that I wont be eating this meal but I cant help but acknowledge that by making this purchase I was condoning and supporting an industry I have come to detest. I was sick to my stomach as we checked out.


It was also the first time that I've cooked meat and felt an immense amount of guilt. I made this same meal for my husband a few weeks back, with meat that was in the house, and I didn't feel good about it but I didn't feel terrible about it either. I was semi-neutral. I can't help but wonder if the guilt I had today is from the purchase of 'new' death meat. Or is it that I'm further along in my resolve to not eat meat causing the entire process to feel wrong?